This book is excellent for someone who is embarking on a deconstruction journey. Angela begins by defining deconstruction and what deconstruction is not. For instance, you can deconstruct one topic, but that is not the same as going through deconstruction.
To set a foundation she writes about embracing one’s physical and emotional health and needs, nurturing supportive relationships, forming new communities, and seeking out professional support. Then she explains how to embody curiosity and vulnerability, and how to sort ideas into categories like: release, revisit, keep, or “I don’t know.”
Angela is honest about the truth being subjective and no one having the absolute truth. I loved how she regularly referred back to an open hand or relaxed fist. This has been very important for my own spiritual journey: allowing ideas to flow through like water, some we drink, some we let flow on by, some we swim in for a bit. Often ideas are repeated and she addresses this too. We can think we’ve deconstructed something only to discover there were hidden layers we hadn’t seen to uncover, so we deconstruct almost the same topic but from another angle.
I also really appreciated the mother archetype and how important it is to learn how to have a healthy attachment to oneself and learn to trust one’s own intuition and judgment. I don’t think this trust or attachment means the forsaking of other people’s wisdom and relationships, I think of it as a balancing act between trusting myself and also allowing space for voices that disagree or have something to teach me. Clearly this book supports being taught by others sources of information, especially minorities and the voices of the marginalized. But knowing how to self-soothe and accept one’s own mistakes or failures, while abiding in secure love means we can go through deconstruction without continuously feeling ashamed for going against “toxic religion.”
I also really liked the advised list of broad deconstruction topics Angela gave at the end: deconstructing self, God, church, Bible etc. Those broader ideas branch out into topics like purity culture and hell (big ones for me personally). I can see how this would be helpful for people who recognize they are on this journey and really want to dig deep into all the weeds. It has taken me two decades to get into many of these topics because I did not have a guide, coach or therapist (though I did have a supportive naturopath and a unique house church pastor). My journey was simply different and more drawn out than the deconstruction we see today. That’s why people need books like this. Deconstruction seems to be gaining momentum and structure and people need nurturing, helpful guidance.
Deconstruction is not going away. It is a critical religious shift that happens every 500 years or so, as the author detailed. Why not embrace some coaching and support?!
