By Janet Lansbury
This is a phenomenal book balancing appropriate discipline with love and affirmation for our children.
The thing that stood out most to me was that I need to allow my children to experience the full gamut of their emotions. If their emotions or volume trigger or annoy me, I can have the presence of mind to tell myself that I do not need to fix their feelings. They are allowed to feel everything. The emotion will pass. I can step away or I can offer comfort, but I do not need to shut them down or tell them to stop or be quiet. This will only result in bigger explosions later, or suppression (which was detrimental to my development as a child).
Since reading this book I have found myself to be more patient and better equipped to nurture and discipline my kids. I totally agree that spanking and other retributive punishments only teach our children not to trust us or themselves and I am now undoing the mistakes I’ve made and thanking God that children are resilient. I believe they will recover from my failures and I also believe I am allowed to have boundaries to prevent myself from being triggered by things my kids might be inclined to do.