Book By Kelsy Burke
In “The Pornography Wars” Kelsy delves into the history of obscenity and laws around mailing sexually explicit material. She addresses how extremes in banning sexual content can lead (and have led) to extremes in limiting sex-education.
Only fifteen states [in the USA] have passed laws requiring that sex education be medically accurate, and only sixteen require teaching about contraception, aligning with a comprehensive model.
Some feminists fight for the right to create porn that is more stimulating for women (not just for men), porn that is more pleasure and consent based. Other feminists stand against pornography because of the exploitation, abuse and trafficking of women and children, in particular.
Both sides of the porn wars share concerns over safety and consent, risks of violence, and sexual health. Yet this common ground is lost in efforts to crack down on sex trafficking within the porn industry, given that the activists leading the charge conflate trafficking with all forms of sex work.
However, the fact the porn depicts misogyny, racism, rape etc. is more a product of our social problems than of problems specific to the porn industry. It is arguable that a more consent-based society will depict consent-based pornography.
Sex workers also have varying experiences of working for fair pay and under ethical conditions, versus being sexually abused and exploited within their employment arena. Again, this seems to be more of a reflection of society than of the porn industry itself. Ethical pornography is about workers being paid appropriately, actors fully consenting to each and every scene produced, people regularly testing for STI’s and rules around STI safety. Ethical porn often costs viewers money to watch, whereas mainstream porn is often free.
Kelsy delves into whether or not pornography viewing can become addictive. Many argue that it can and does, while many others say the science is, at best, ambiguous. Some prefer the language of “compulsion.” People who believe porn is addictive are more likely to identify as porn-addicts even if they view less porn than many other people around them who weren’t taught to believe that porn is addictive.
Protestant men are more likely than any other groups, including those with no religious affiliation, to perceive themselves to be addicted to pornography. And yet, evangelical men as a whole actually watch less porn than their nonevangelical counterparts… Several studies have found that religious commitment is a better predictor of perceived addiction than actual porn use.
While some claim that porn destroyed their marriage, in marriages in which both partners view porn together, couples often report higher satisfaction maritally and/or sexually.
Some studies have found that married women who watch porn report higher levels of satisfaction in their marriages to men than women who don’t. Findings like these suggest that it’s not pornography that affects marital quality, but rather, the context in which the porn is viewed.
There is something to be said for “what you think is what you are.” There is a strong case for pulling down the shame around watching porn, in order to reframe porn use in a healthier context. But by the same token, some people can’t seem to moderate their intake of porn and rely too much on the dopamine boost they receive from viewing pornography.
Stephanie Carnes was quoted to have said: “Not all sexual behavoir is benign. Some people hurt themselves and cross lines that are dangerous and get them in trouble.”
This book looks at how the brain responds to porn, how brains and bodies often respond with pleasure and therefore want “more.” But, as the book points out, we as a society neither ban alcohol, nor ban AA meetings, we try to lean toward “everything in moderation.”
For most of us, we can enjoy pleasurable activities in moderation. But for others, these behaviors (eating, shopping, sex) become compulsive, excessive, and disruptive to everyday life. Pleasurable behaviors stimulate the dopamine system, and we have a strong urge to repeat these behaviors and reactivate this pleasure center in our brains.
Is it possible that porn might be more compulsive or addictive to some, but not others, and we should work at reducing the shame around porn use, while also encouraging people to use other outlets for dopamine hits—aiming toward moderation?
I loved the questions offered to teenagers for critical thinking around pornography. These questions boiled down to analyzing the consent of actors/actresses.
Pornography may depict “people experiencing painful things,” and this could have a number of different backstories: a performer consented to do it, and they enjoyed it; they consented to it not because they enjoy it, but because of the payment they will receive; or they don’t enjoy it and did not agree to it. Discussion questions then ask teens how the changed scenario changes the way they think about pornography itself and porn performers.
Children are exposed to pornography at very young ages and they need to be thinking critically about what they are seeing. They need to understand that pornography is not always realistic and that, while it can be educational, many scenes are not replicable in their sex lives. I believe, critical thinking about porn at an early age could help reframe it realistically and reduce compulsive viewing.
This book really gave a moderate overview of pornography—the industry, the viewers, experiences around addiction, the positives and negatives of porn consumption, and how the pendulum can swing too far in either direction. On the one hand suppressing all education around sex and sexuality is helpful for no one. We are sexual creatures. On the other hand, there are people with unhealthy compulsions, relying on pornography to entertain them for hours and hours of the day, and struggling to lead healthy, functioning lives.
Yes, the pornography industry has problems. I don’t like the idea of rape-porn, racist-porn, or women being sexually exploited and abused in order to create pornographic content, etc., however, I don’t think we will ever get rid of porn and shaming people or porn use does more harm than good. I like the ideals of ethical porn, some feminist porn and I think we can advance toward healthier porn use and sex education as a society, instead of being so extreme about trying to avoid, suppress and ban vs claiming it is never harmful, nor addictive.
If you’re ready to reframe your view of porn in a more moderate light, I recommend you read this book!