Book Review
I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated Donna Freitas’ recent memoir, Wishful Thinking. Donna was raised Catholic, but has spent the majority of her adult life as an atheist. However, she has teetered on the edge of faith probably her entire life. As a deconstructing Evangelical, I can relate to her struggles with faith. She describes the heritage of faith, prayers to saints, figurines etc. that her mother, father and grandmother displayed as she grew up in their home. She talks about embracing belief as a young child but finding it stifling as a teenager.
Though an outspoken atheist in college, very fascinated by philosophy, one of Donna’s professors encouraged her to take the “Religious studies” route. This changes the course of her life in both positive and negative ways. She is stalked and traumatized by a Professor who is also a Catholic priest, and not many years later, the cover-up of sexual assault within the Catholic church is uncovered by the media. This does a lot of damage to any faith Donna may have been developing through her studies.
Donna seems particularly fascinated with the relegation of sex and sexuality to a topic Catholics have strict views on but generally avoid discussing. She has studied and researched sex on college campuses, written a book on the topic, and has the desire to change Catholicism from within. She illustrates how there are not enough role-models for teenagers and young adults as they explore and mature sexually. She contrasts this with Evangelical books that are influential, though they might push a very conservative message. I can see her point and I too want to see even more progressive and relevant messages circulated.
I loved the eye-opening chapter that explained and contrasted Catholicism and Evangelicalism! It seems to me as though Donna is essentially deconstructing and reconstructing her faith, very similarly to how many evangelicals are today, but is coming from a different background where scriptural authority and interpretation was left to those higher up in the Church hierarchy.
I also really enjoyed the chapters about philosophy and philosophers. Donna shares about the “dark night of the soul” as described by philosophers and also as her own experience. Philosophy helped her make sense of her experience in a similar way to how religious deconstruction and reconstruction have impacted my own experience of depression as a young adult and my overall mental health. The philosophers became her companions and helped pull her out of the pit, in the same way that reading spiritual books and deconstructing unhealthy beliefs (like hell and purity culture) have aided my mental stability.
I resonated with Donna’s relationships to her deceased parents and grandmother. She feels she is conjuring their spirits when she writes. She is grappling with grief, expressing her emotions, and healing her relationships with them, though they aren’t physically here. I have experienced the same with my deceased mother—as though she is propelling me forward to a new and healthier kind of faith.
Donna concludes the book on very hopeful notes that her Catholicism is not utterly destroyed and that she not only wants to have faith, but sees the proof of her faith within the pages of her memoir. She also describes how powerful writing actually is, not only memoir writing but also the fiction she has written. It allows one to go on a journey of self-discovery, to express one’s mind, heart and soul, and find the meaning and purpose we all long for. I one hundred percent agree and have experienced the same.
I was hooked on Donna’s introduction to the book where she describes using
“The confines of a book and all the space it offers to try to come up with an answer, to get over the thing that has me hurting and lost, or to bring a little light back in if my days have grown particularly dark. Writing helps me to be in a mystery and it functions a bit like a therapist’s office at times—or as a confessional if the subject fits.”
I loved that she circled back around to this at the end of the book. She has written the story of her faith journey, with its many highs and lows, in rich, expressive language, pictures, and stories.
Thank you, Donna, for this beautiful book.
