Yes and no—as is so often the answer to most questions lol.
I found people at Wild Goose. People who mostly believe in the divine, who have diverse opinions and interpretations of the Spirit—the goose. And as I interacted with the broad range of possibilities, I sensed the Spirit of God, around me in the people.
God was in our breath, our imagination, our direction—where we come from and where we are headed.
God was in the blades of grass that I stroked as I listened to people sing hymns that I don’t necessarily know what to make of these days.
God was in the rainbow Christmas tree and the queer community fighting for their rights to survive, exist and to thrive in our world.
God was in the white, cisgender, heterosexual male who is actually fighting to confront whiteness and the power, privilege etc. that comes along with being branded as “white.”
God was in the leader who questioned why it is so difficult to strike up a conversation about sexuality—masturbation, monogamy etc.—and another leader who calls herself “Reverend Sex” and gave us all an education on how the clitoris and the prostate have more nerve endings than the penis, yet neither the clit nor the prostate have any role in procreation.
God was in the writers peddling their books—which is exactly what I would do if I were a co-creator at the goose. So many of us have something we desperately want to say and create in the world.
God was in those who talked about science, politics, yoga, meditation, sexual abuse and so many other topics.
God was in the musicians and I was especially moved by Derek Webb’s song, “Some gods Deserve Atheists” and turned around to write a simple chorus in my car on the way home called “Hell No.”
I swung from feeling inspired, to feeling overstimulated. From feeling like things resonated with my spirit; to feeling detached and questioning everything (as usual).
I think one of the things I am learning—from books and circumstances and spiritual activities like church and the festival—is that: here in the Western world we think we are individuals. God is within. Follow your heart. But God is also outside of individuals and within movements, corporations, churches, groups and festivals. God doesn’t simply prompt my heart or your heart in a direction. God explores ideas and concepts within group systems—within community. We are both individual and communal creatures. Always both. Never just one or the other.
I felt compelled toward liberal politics, liberal Christianity/religion, and an ever-increasingly louder voice toward social justice meaning the love and equity of the human race. This is a direction I’ve been headed in for at many years. And instead of feeling a truly orgasmic oneness, like I had just been inspired toward the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… I found myself coming up empty on occasion. Because I know that there are people who are conservative, who are just as sure they are hearing God and following their hearts as I am. I struggle with the idea that I have to fight these people because I’m “right” and they’re “wrong” when what I long for is a universal community. I want to be truly understanding and loving, even toward people who vote and/or worship a different way.
As one person said, it seems like they have a different god. Pharoah seemed to worship a different god or a different god-concept to the Jewish God of Moses. Yes, we all worship gods made in our image—the God that makes sense or is most tolerable to us. For me, I tend to worship the God who keeps my mental health from going under. Hell as eternal conscious torment is not a concept my mental health can tolerate. Nor is atheism.
I’ve become increasingly agnostic: admitting that I don’t know the truth and I can’t prove that God is or isn’t real. The fact that I’m pretty sure I exist, is about as close as I can get to proving that God exists… The fact that there is life, that there is consciousness… don’t these things point to something greater than just you and me as individuals toward a diverse universe… a vast array of possibilities that is expanding and dividing and multiplying and creating and dying and breathing both in and out, never just one or the other…
So I encountered God in people and objects, words, concepts, creativity, music, art, books etc. at Wild Goose. But I have to take all of that with a grain of salt, and realize that we are one people-group that does not represent the whole world, or even the diversity of the USA.
I get to follow my heart. I also get to follow my group—the people I feel I can most understand and relate to. But I cannot forget that there are other cultures, other denominations, other political parties, who want to be heard just like me. They need my voice, and, actually, I need theirs, simply because they exist. And if my existence is proof of God’s existence, then so is theirs… When the world stops needing conservatives or liberals, perhaps these concepts will fade away. Perhaps there will be more universality.
Perhaps we define who and what God is as we evolve…
Yes, I encountered aspects of God at the Goose.
No, I do not have all the answers and cannot define who or what God actually is…
As my three-year-old, naively and innocently quotes from the movie “Sing 2,” borrowing, of course, from U2—which interestingly got its start at the equivalent of the “Wild Goose Festival” in Europe:
“But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…”
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