Does everything happen for a reason?

Do you think that everything happens for a reason? A meaningful reason?

Or do you think that some things happen for no particular reason, other than that that is how circumstances played out—a kind of circumstantial reason, but not so much a purposeful reason?

Us humans seem to be meaning-making machines.

I’ve created meaning out of sexual trauma, out of my mother’s relatively young death (48yrs old), out of my obsession with one particular guy that lasted six years, out of two major car accidents, out of a near-death child-birthing experience, and out of my daughter’s so-called “birth defect.”

I see redemption in everything.

I don’t see any of these circumstances as wasted because of the meaning I place on them. I see myself growing, learning, adapting, and in my opinion, becoming a healthier person (though plenty of people would judge the opposite).

I don’t see the circumstances, the trauma, the grief etc. as inherently good, I just tend to see a lot of these events as unavoidable facts: that is what happened. Then I tend to draw meaning out of situations in retrospect. But my experience has tended toward all circumstances being redeemed. All used to my benefit, even if it felt horrendous or wasn’t to my benefit in the moment of its happening.

I’m wondering, is this how most people approach trauma, pain, suffering, and other difficult circumstances. Or are there circumstances that you subscribe no meaning to and see absolutely no redemption in?

I have a really hard time seeing redemption in rape. I see it, but I don’t think it wipes out the fact that rape shouldn’t happen. Maybe trauma doesn’t happen “for a reason” but once it happens and it can’t be undone, I believe everything is redeemable.

Am I mistaken?

My meaning-making brain wants to say:

“Not everything happens for a reason or with a specific goal in mind. But everything that happens is redeemed.”

I even want to argue that we learn more from suffering than we ever could have learned otherwise.

Do you think that is true? Have you found that experientially true?

I would really like to hear other people’s take on this.